Theme Song
by Briar Elwood
Summary: Cam believes SG1 needs a theme song. He has one in mind…the team's opinions vary. Crack!fic.


"We need a theme song."

Daniel glanced up over his glasses to give Cameron a questioning arc of his eyebrows.

"A theme song?" Vala asked, echoing the entire team's thoughts. Cam shrugged and nodded.

"Like a song to…pump us up. Make us feel good about ourselves. Like…I don't know, a song that defines us," Cam explained.

"'We Will Rock You,'" Teal'c suggested. Daniel snapped a glance to the Jaffa.

"By Queen?" he asked incredulously. Teal'c inclined his head affirmatively.

"Indeed."

"Um. That's a good song to pump us up, but not a theme song," Cam said. Sam raised an eyebrow, amused.

"What do you have in mind, Cam?"

Cam grinned, obviously having been waiting for someone to ask. "I heard it in a movie the other day," he started.

"What movie? Is it good? Have I seen it?" Vala interrupted excitedly. Cam growled slightly at her, annoyed.

"Moulin Rouge. Yes, it's good. And I wouldn't be surprised if you've seen it."

Vala looked like she was about to continue but Cam beat her to it.

"I looked up the lyrics on the web and then bought if off iTunes. It's kind of a 'we-know-what-we're-don'-you-can't-beat-us' mood."

"What's the song?" Daniel asked wearily, pinching the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses up slightly.

"Children of the Revolution," the colonel finally answered.

"We're not children!" Vala protested.

"I could argue that for at least _one_ of our team," Cam replied angrily.

"In my opinion, _both_ of you are children," Daniel put in.

"Yeah!" Vala yelled. After a second she frowned. "Wait…"

Suddenly the ex-con and the linguist started arguing like a married couple. The rest of the team, used to it by now, ignored them.

"We're not part of a revolution either," Sam pointed out.

"You don't have to take it so literally!" Cam bellowed, forcing himself to be heard over Daniel and Vala's bickering. He succeeded, however, not only in making sure Sam heard him, but also in getting Daniel and Vala to shut up.

"You said you downloaded this song, Colonel Mitchell," Teal'c said after a brief moment of silence. "Perhaps we could listen to it."

Cam grinned. "_That's_ what I'm talkin' about!" Immediately, he thrust a hand into one of his pockets. After a moment, he pulled out his iPod with a triumphant "ha!"

"Here, uh…" He frowned, getting the song ready and turning up the volume.

"Even if you turn up the volume all the way, we're not _all_ going to be able to hear it," Sam pointed out. Cam looked up, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

"Um. You can hack into somethin' to change the volume limit," he explained.

"Cool!" Vala exclaimed.

"You _hacked_—?" Daniel asked loudly. Cameron winced.

"No, actually. A friend did it for me." He glanced down to the screen. "Here you go…"

After the song played, Cameron stopped the iPod from continuing on to the next song and looked up expectantly.

"I especially liked the 'la de da' crap," Daniel said sarcastically after a pause.

"Really?" Cam asked, not catching the sarcasm. "That's the only part I didn't like."

"Note the sarcasm," Daniel explained with a sigh.

"Oh."

"It was rather repetitive," Sam commented.

"Well, yeah, towards the end it was…"

"What's 'teleplane' mean?" Vala asked.

"Uh…I don't know."

"I am more partial to 'We Will Rock You'," Teal'c informed the colonel.

"And I think General O'Neill had too much influence on you than is healthy," Cam shot back.

"Why do you think that, Colonel?" Landry asked, finally walking into the briefing room. Cameron threw a hand in Teal'c's direction.

"He thinks Queen's 'We Will Rock You' should be the team's theme song!"

Landry shook his head. "The team already has a theme song," he informed them.

"We do?" Daniel asked, surprised. Landry nodded.

"As well as individual songs."

"What are they?" Vala asked eagerly.

"You, Vala, have got 'Bad Reputation' by Joan Jett. Daniel has 'Indiana Jones', Sam's got Jimmy Neutron's theme song. Teal'c's got 'Star Wars', and Jack has 'I Go To Extremes' by Billy Joel. Cameron, you have the Numa Numa song. Simply cuz we thought it'd be a song you'd like."

"Numa Numa?" Cam echoed disbelievingly. Sam burst into hysterical laughter.

"I _love_ that song!" Vala cried.

"Do you know what it translates to?" Daniel asked, a worried look on his face.

"No, I don't, Daniel. It doesn't really matter, though," Landry replied.

"It's about two guys—"

"What is the team's theme song, General?" Teal'c interrupted. Everyone calmed down and looked to Landry expectantly. The general smiled.

"Well…"

Suddenly a fully equipped orchestra popped out of nowhere and began to play Stargate SG-1's Main Title. Astonished expressions followed.

_A/N: I love reviewers and live for constructive criticism!_


End file.
